It's times like these when I wonder if I want to stay in this industry. The sheep are getting stuck in dams and I can't stop it happening. They're jumping fences to find the best feed they can (they're not short on feed but the grass is always better on the other side), and sometimes getting caught in that fence. The weaners are the most susceptible as they don't have much power in their body to pull themselves out of mud or a fence.
Finding the will power to stomach the stench of rotting flesh as you try and drag a carcass out of the dam is not easy. The fire rake you're using to hook through the rib cage cracks the dry brittle bones and pulls layers of wool and skin off as you dry retch. You keep pulling at it, again, and again, the sucking sound of wool in deep mud echoing through your mind. You force yourself to deal with the maggots and dead flesh because the rest of the mob needs that water. You turn away to get a breath of fresh air so you don't vomit and then you try again, only to discover that the dams sucking power is too much for your body's strength to overcome. You assess whether the carcass is too far gone to attach a rope to it and tow it out with the ute. If it's not then you block your nose, grit your teeth and put your hands into that rotting mess. If it is, then you have to make sure the stock have another water source until that dam returns to drinking quality.
It's not easy looking at a healthy wether that you've untangled from a fence, assessing his state and knowing that the extent of his leg damage is reason enough to end his life. It's not easy pulling the trigger and watching his last movements as he twitches into death. It's not easy watching to make sure he is dead and to witness his death. I refuse to let an animal die stranded and alone if I can help it.
Life on the land is hard; it's heart breakingly, gut wrenchingly hard. So why do I do it? If it makes me want to vomit and leaves my heart aching so much that tears don't touch the pain; why do I do it? I do it because I care, I do it because the animals we consume deserve that much. We are going to farm them and have a livestock industry because meat is part of a human diet. Therefore, I'm going to be part of this industry. I won't stand by and let these animals be farmed by people who care less than I do. Their lives deserve to be honoured and I believe I do that, I won't back away from that duty. There may be days when it is just too much for my soul to bear, on those days I will take time out. Rest assured I'll be back the very next morning with a fresh outlook, trying to make this industry better in any way I possibly can.
This industry is not for the faint of heart, it is not for those looking to make a quick dollar and it is not for those who lack compassion. It is for those who care, for those who are tough and for those who will put their own needs aside to provide a certain level of quality to another's life - be it human or animal. I understand that some of what I have written may be confronting, it may shock you and make you want to condemn the farming of animals. That is not my intent at all, my point is this: farmers care. You may not always see it (particularly with male farmers) because we do not show the pain we feel to the world. We bear it in silence for the sake of that animal. We do not make a fuss about it because creating a fuss does not help the animal, us, or the industry. So why am I contradicting myself and making a fuss by writing this? I believe that this industry needs a larger support base to achieve continued innovation. I believe helping the rest of the world to understand that we do not farm based purely on profit is important. We are not cruel, money hungry land owners. We are caretakers, of this land and our animals. We always will be. In short, I am willing to be the voice that creates a fuss if it means that the rest of the world can understand the true nature of what we do. I am willing to speak of my pain and heart break and to let my words speak for any one who feels as I do; for those who do not make a fuss.
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